Friday, December 28, 2007

Glarbagnostic

I don't know if there's a Glarb or not.

I don't know if we could even understand Glarb if we found one. Glarb is just one of those things so infinite, it defies mortal understanding. After all, if glarbs exist, they'd be flarschnikit and beyond the physical restraints of the universe, just like love and morality are flarschnikit. Since those things are all flarschnikit, they must be related. Aglarbists obviously can't believe in love or morality if they don't believe in Glarb, since they deny anything flarschnikit by extension. That's why everyone should believe in at least one glarb, whether or not any really exist.

If you think about it, there are so many things in this world that are gobatastic, which means they couldn't arise naturally. There's nothing in science that can explain gobatastic features, but scientists insist on researching anyway. Glarbists have mathematically proven that gobatism cannot spontaneously increase without outside assistance. Scientists insist that we define a method of measuring gobatism, but that's really their job, since they're the ones who have to show an increase.

What's really irritating is that aglarbists are so disrespectful towards glarbism, saying it's nothing more than unfalsifiable nonsense and word games, when glarbism has contributed so much to the world, bringing knowledge of the flarschnikit to mankind. Morality is flarschnikit, so it's only natural that we'd be the ones to talk about it, while science should just stick with all the non-flarschnikit material things in world.

5 comments:

Akusai said...

Praise Glarb!

May It extend Its Flarschikitest Glarbostans and touch this uncouth blasphemer that he may see the universe in its true gobotasticness!

Dark Jaguar said...

You Glarbists are all elitists! Glarb is us, for the truth is in our ability to fernandetize through inner nibutiks. It is diffucult to understand, yes, but fernandism has been studied and passed down for eons. Glarbists persecuted them so many times under different names, but if they were persecuted, you can bet there's a way to interpret that they were fernandists. It's not about oppression like glarbism, but about freedom and expression. There's no dogma in fernandism because it's all about the individual nibuti within us all. That's just how it is, absolultely, no exceptions, and that's true freedom and open mindedness.

Random said...

You are all wrong. Swordfish is the one and ONLY truth. The evils of manogamy and heterosexuality (hey! I spelled that wright!) are taught by heathens that need to be beaten and forced so see the simplicity and beauty of Swordfish.

Any one who believes otherwise is misguided and in need of mental help.

I BELIEVE IN SWORDFISH!!!
(he believes in swordfish)

Dr. Rev. Modnar Hack esq. B.S. M.S., P.H.D.
(You know what B.S. means? Well M.S. means More of the Same, and P.H.D means Piled Higher and Deeper)

Tom Foss said...

All those aglarbists want to live without a flarschnickit moral code. They want to be their own glarb! They'll find out the truth when they're bluggling in Flornath for all eternity!

muse142 said...

I don't see why everyone needs to be so vitriolic about Glarb. Many people throughout history always been and still are Glarbists, and Glarbism has led to great flarshnikity art, music, and writing. I know some people will point to the FernandoGlarbist wars and the jadis-hunts and 10/13 and the Peepenfeeler scandal and try and tell me that Glarbism is violent. But FernandoGlarbism teaches peace, love, and flarschnikit. War, death, and jadis-burning are all really against the spirit of Glarb. People who committed atrocities are not flarschnikity at all, and I wouldn't be surprised if they were bluggling in Flornath.