Hey, you over there, yes, you, the person from the fantasy/dungeonpunk/laser blade space opera over there! What precisely is it about your sword that makes it so cool?
It's a fish! I mean, It's an expired firecracker jammed onto a sword hilt! No wait, it's a hilt jammed onto a sword-in-a-stone (much simpler than actually pulling it out of the stone. Plus, two hilts are better than one)!
One day I'll get my hands on my master's sword, the shish-ke-bob.
My favourite sward was a blade possessed by the spirit of a chef with a particular hatred of goblins. Great weapon, fantastically powerful at higher levels. Always had one major drawback. Any time you confirmed a critical and that critical was enough to reduce someone to negative hp, you spent the next round butchering your enemy unless you managed to wrest control away from the spirit.
13 comments:
It's a laser chainsword that's on fire and turns people into zombies for no particular reason. What about it isn't awesome?
It's sharp, and it cuts things.
It's so sharp you can hear it.
It's so cool the sight of it will make you shit bricks.
It's hollow and plays like a flute.
Like this.
It's a fish! I mean, It's an expired firecracker jammed onto a sword hilt! No wait, it's a hilt jammed onto a sword-in-a-stone (much simpler than actually pulling it out of the stone. Plus, two hilts are better than one)!
One day I'll get my hands on my master's sword, the shish-ke-bob.
It was given to me by some moistened bint?
What is it with you sword guys and having to talk about how cool your sword is?
It's a more elegant weapon for a more civilized age.
My greatsword, called Rationality, can chop a creationist in half with a single swift slice,watch! Swissssh chop thunk! Thunk!
My favourite sward was a blade possessed by the spirit of a chef with a particular hatred of goblins. Great weapon, fantastically powerful at higher levels. Always had one major drawback. Any time you confirmed a critical and that critical was enough to reduce someone to negative hp, you spent the next round butchering your enemy unless you managed to wrest control away from the spirit.
It's alive. No seriously; it's a living, setinent organism.
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