Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Pointless Question #2

You've been strapped into the cockpit of the latest prototype space fighter, laden with all the cutting-edge experimental technology Earth has to offer. The enemy has a truly massive fleet with awesome planet-crushing battleships. They are completely and utterly relentless, and you will be facing them alone. No squadron will help you.

What the frell are your superiors thinking?

13 comments:

Infophile said...

That, like with ninjas, the effectiveness of a squadron of fighters is inversely proportional to the number of fighters in the squad.

Nes said...

Obviously they don't expect you to actually fight the enemy fleet; you just need to sneak by them all and drop the ring in Mt. Do-- I mean, fire a torpedo at the Death St-- err, mothership, which will automagically disable not only the mothership, but the whole fleet!

I really wish we could use <strike> in comments...

Joshua said...

"I never liked that dumb bastard, anyway."
"Me, either. Let's take the payoff from the enemy's Evil Overlord and retire to Bermudon XII."
"HELL, YEAH!"

Anonymous said...

"Automagically" is the best word ever.

Man Called True said...

"We're fucked, you know that?"
"Yep. Let's just send that guy to deal with it and get the hell out of the quadrant."
"Why him?"
"He owes me money."

Mongrel said...

Obviously they don't expect you to actually fight the enemy fleet; you just need to sneak by them all and drop the ring in Mt. Do-- I mean, fire a torpedo at the Death St-- err, mothership, which will automagically disable not only the mothership, but the whole fleet!

But that's part of your duties! "To defend the Frontier..."

stogoe said...

Obviously they hope you're Ender Wiggins and you'll know, somehow, which one's the queen, and automagically wipe out the enemy in a war they decided to start.

Tom Foss said...

Plausible deniability. Your superiors are entering into complex negotiations with the enemy fleet, in hopes of coming to some kind of war-ending compromise. In the meantime, just in case things go badly with the treaty, they've got you out there causing some damage. Since you're just a lone fighter with no backup or support, they can convince the enemy that you're a deserter who has abdicated his duties and violated the cease-fire without authorization. They claim that you stole the fighter to go on a one-man crusade against the enemy, and give them authorization and encouragement to destroy you. Knowing your skill, they think you'll at least be able to take out a few with you, while they find out which direction the negotiations are going.

Brendan said...

They got the name mixed up, and are looking for that other guy, who also happens to be a spantastic fighter pilot.

Hehe, "the forces of Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada" That was a great movie.

themann1086 said...

Obviously, you are Spartan 117, and you are finishing this fight!

stogoe said...

This is madness.

Lifewish said...

"Sylvia, wire the Admiral to send a thousand or so fighters in. That should give those alien scum something to think about.

"What do you mean, the zero key on your keyboard is broken. Look, just get the tea, will you?"

Corey said...

Obviously they hope you're Ender Wiggins and you'll know, somehow, which one's the queen, and automagically wipe out the enemy in a war they decided to start.

I thought Ender blew up the nearby planet to wipe out the enemy fleet.