You've saved the world from mad scientists, meteors, alien invaders, demons from a lower plane of existence, and inexplicably giant gorillas hundreds of times over, and all while making very good excuses for your alter-ego.How did the world stay in one piece before you and your caped friends came along?
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My presence has both a causal and correlative relationship with various perils often lumped together in the category "comic-book-derived".
Before my arrival, such perils were not present in the world at significant frequencies. Once I arrived, they were attracted to this plane of existence (from above, below, or adjacent) by interdimensional cosmic forces *waves hands*
A detailed multiple-regression has not yet been conducted that includes my alter-ego as a factor, thus I remain undetected in "everyday life".
Before I came along, the local police and military were perfectly capable of handling everything themselves. However, since my arrival, they started to get lazy as I did everything for them. Now they're so reliant on my that they probably couldn't stop a mere bank robber.
It didn't, obviously. Since it would be a bit tricky for the world to last long enough for me to be born into it, it must not have existed at all before I came of age and started battling villains.
Simple, the conditions that created me were the same ones that created all the meta-human menaces.
(Thumbnail of actual campaign background for a supers campaign I ran, which also included "Thus far 12 supers are known to have died, 8 in learning that superpowered does not mean bulletproof.")
I'm sick of all these lame 'they arrived conveniently when we did' excuses.
Personally, my group became super-heroes by ambushing the previous gang of heroes in their sleep and stealing their powers.
But how did that group get their powers?
Obviously, it's super-groups all the way down.
This world was created for my magnificent powers. Reality up to now was all in anticipation for the spectacular show that is me.
That or I used the Secret to attract all of those giant gorillas. DAMN YOU, SECRET!!!
Hey, you don't think demons just happen to find their way into our plane, do you? The rituals are obscenely difficult, and do you have any idea how much virgin blood costs these days? There's no way your average evil cackler could muster this sort of resources.
So where do they come from? Well, obviously, it's me who summons the demons, signals the aliens, "adjusts" the meteor orbits, and sticks up signs saying "giant bananas this way". Anything to give my alter-ego a chance to strut his stuff. Because, when you get right down to it, I really just like having an excuse to prance round in tights.
As the advert says:
- Dribbly candles: $30.
- Bronze summoning circle: $100+installation.
- Virgin's blood: $279.99/gallon.
- Guilt-free public cross-dressing: priceless.
How did the world stay in one piece before you and your caped friends came along?
Duct tape.
I thought you knew?
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