Covering an Annoyance

I've already done a few doggerel entries on this sort of thing, and should do a better job of directing woos there. But I'm going to consolidate a theme that just get so irritating to hear.

Methodological materialism, practiced by science, is an inherently INCLUSIVE philosophy. I don't know where "natural" and "supernatural" started in definitions, but science covers a definition of natural/material/physical that grows whenever we find something new. It wouldn't work otherwise. We look at anything that has effects on the universe. We look at anything that does stuff. That's why we don't bother with invisible, intangible dragons that breathe heatless fire. If something doesn't leave any evidence, why would you believe in it at all?

Take a look at the history of science and its advancement: Then-exotic forms of radiation, bizarre particles, invisible dark matter that can only be "seen" by its gravity, models of space and time that curve or change relative to the observer, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. There were all radical ideas that are taken for granted today. They were things that would have predictable effects, and when those predictions came true, they were accepted into the mainstream.

The reason we don't accept psychic powers, astrology, universe-designing gnomes, or evil alien overlords isn't just because they're weird. Weirdness doesn't put them in some other realm where Mr. Spock's tricorder can't pick them up. What gets us is that they don't have any supporting evidence. Alleged psychics fail to bend spoons with their minds when watched closely. Astrological predictions don't come true, or are too vague to be worth heeding. Hypotheses about universe designers don't explain anything or make predictions. Evil alien overlords never left behind any bits of metal with abnormal isotopic concentrations or whatever.

"Supernatural" claims that are supposed to actually mean something aren't beyond science, and you can't get us to pidgeonhole something as expansive as science into whatever artificial constrants you like to add to the definition.

Jesus Versus Roswell

Poked that troll's blog again for the lulz, and ended up thinking of a comparison not long after. What's the difference between Jesus's resurrection and the Roswell alien incident? Not a whole lot where I stand.

1) Believers cite "eyewitness testimony." Eyewitnesses are notoriously unreliable. That's why science relies on forensic evidence whenever it's available. Eyewitnesses can lie. Eyewitnesses can misremember. Eyewitnesses can misinterpret what they see and adjust their memories to line up with what they thought happened. Of course, if some woo shows up, they're going to misrepresent that as me saying those eyewitnesses were crazy. Not necessarily. Those are perfectly normal mortal failings. Our brains evolved to survive, not to arrive at scientific fact or to objectively record what we see like a celluloid camera is. They've been (a little more than) good enough to ensure we've got food in our bellies and safety from predators. That's why we rely on objective, verifiable scientific evidence and not subjective memory.

2) Believers cite "eyewitness testimony" recorded long after the event. Do I really have to go into this? I remember one show that was about debunking Roswell. They had a group of people escorted by a faux group of military people while wearing helmet cameras. One month later, they were talking about being lead past unknown equipment, and one said a guard raised his rifle at him. The cameras, meanwhile, played back showing only trees and calm guys in uniform. Now imagine someone making claims decades later. Now imagine someone writing down about what someone else said centuries earlier, and can't even get straight who was there. Now imagine the possibility that those people doing the writing want you to buy their book or go to their church.

3) Believers typically already buy into unfalsifiable magic. Jesus, like all magic men, has a Green Lantern Ring. Aliens have Do Anything Robots and equally flexible spaceships. There's no limits to the powers people will invoke to explain anything, while failing to explain why it didn't happen another way. The eyewitnesses to these things typically don't understand anything about how the universe works, but they believe in magical things that can be invoked to explain anything, be it super-aliens, omnipotent men in black, angels, or spirits. So, if these people see something they can't explain, instead of seeking out known explanations for the phenomena, they'll just immediately jump to "magic." It doesn't help that there's no shortage of fantasy-prone people, especially if you live in a culture that values "visions" or "repressed memories."

4) Believers expect us to make special exceptions to logic for their case. Conspiracy nuts often ask me to just throw away Occam's razor and not talk about evidence for aliens because the MIB covered up all the evidence to make it look exactly the same as if it never happened. And that this new entity leaves no evidence of its own. For Jesus, they expect people like me to believe that the religious people who allegedly saw the resurrected Jesus were somehow more special and more objective than all the "witnesses" to non-biblical miracles and magic throughout the centuries, and thus we should throw out all the questions we'd ask about the incident we would ask for any flying saucer cult's claims.

There's probably a lot more. I might expand this post, depending on comments. Scientology tag included just because there's not too much difference between them and the standard alien nuts. That and it might provoke some painful thoughts in the Christian fundies who don't want to be associated as equals with them.

Discuss: Scientology Vs. Anonymous

It's been a long time since I've posted anything on Scientology. I'm not all that up to date on the whole Anonymous thing, either. So, here's Thunderf00t's YouTube entry on the topic. Sounds a bit fun. Rubs some of my propaganda sensors the wrong way, but the core stuff being talked about is probably quite accurate:

Observation: Woos and Humor

My brother and I were treating our parents for a Father's Day dinner this evening, and the topic drifted to a very poor parody written by an IDiot he read. That reminded me of something I've long thought about posting: As far as I've been able to determine, woos have no sense of humor.

When they attempt parody or satire, it tends to involve overt lying, usually in the form of straw men. Those forms of humor require at least a grain of truth. Exaggeration's fine, but I don't see any of them doing that.

One of the things that helps me deal with the absurdities of this world is humor. It's cliche, but if you don't laugh, you'll cry. Humor is a very strange thing to me, but I understand it on some levels. I've compared it to an incomplete knowledge of chemistry at one point: It's like knowing that two hydrogens and an oxygen make water without knowing why these two gases would come together as a liquid. (I know now.) Often, humor involves telling the audience about something horrible and expressing your outrage, and yet, do it in the right manner, picking the right moment to point out a contradiction, and you get laughter.

That just doesn't seem like something woos are capable of doing or appreciating. They seem to think simple insults pass as humor. Take the woo and skeptic approach to the standard 'basement dweller' insult and the premises I typically see between the lines.

First, the typical woo angle: "You obviously live in your mom's basement because you're angry and have been on the internet long enough to argue with me for X number of posts."

This only ends up funny in a reversed, unintentional manner because the woo in question has also been arguing in the manner described, and is apparently unaware of the hypocrisy.

Next the skeptic angle, and some of the specific angle I tend to use: "You obviously live in your mom's basement because you've based your entire worldview on one inherently flawed data point, speak out against the very idea of going out into the world and studying a subject, have no knowledge whatsoever about your opponents' views or arguments, and have psychologically barricaded yourself against anything new entering your world by setting up several knee-jerk defense mechanisms."

It doesn't tickle my funnybone at all when stated like that, but given the right timing and more succinct phrasing, there's potential, and it has a grain of truth (or more) to it, which is key in observational humor.

And yet, somehow, Hollywood thinks we're the humorless zombies.

Open Thread: A Really Bad Movie

Agony Booth recently posted one of their scathing recaps for Battlefield Earth. I actually saw that movie in the theater, expecting just another sci-fi flick, but oddly enough, I don't recall the first half hour of it, and I'm almost never late to a movie. I wonder if the projectionist mercifully removed a reel or something. The moment I snapped was when the harrier jets showed up. I couldn't look away, wondering if the badness would roll over. It overshot.

Rant: Why Priests?

You've probably heard this rant before, from lots of other people. A lot of the time I bump into "Non-Overlapping Magisteria," someone says something that almost sounds reasonable: Leave science (what is) up to the scientists to figure out. Leave ethics (what should be) to other people. The big problem comes at the end of the sentence, when they assign a rather bizarre group to be the "other people."

Why are priests, ministers, clerics, clergy, witch doctors, and those guys with the e-meters considered experts on morality? I haven't seen any evidence to suggest that they're more moral than the average person, and often evidence that strongly suggests the opposite. Of course, some fundie'll cry out at this point that they're more 'in touch' with whatever deity, in which case, they're moving into science: If deities exist and have effects, it's a scientific question.

About the only positive experience I can recall right now involving a minister was one that included Star Trek in his sermon, talking about the nature of sacrifice: That of Spock in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Real sacrifice, not the fake, planned kind. Of course, Spock came back through unplanned use of phlebotinum, but no one was expecting it. I'm glad he didn't make a comparison, because Spock is much cooler than Jesus. Even if Jesus could allegedly do ninja water walking.

Anyway, back to the point: I see nothing connecting superstition authorities with morality. If I had to pick an authority, I'd go for someone who had to take a lot of college courses about the various ethical theories out there. If some conundrum came up, he'd at least be able to talk about details, rather than just say 'God said that's a no-no.'

Moving onto my perceptions of priests and such: I think I trust used car salesmen more. The only place I ever see admirable preachers is on television. The fictional kind of television, that is, not news programs. On the news, they're the villains with strangely good PR as the anchors will often suck up to them or parrot apologia for their actions without putting those actions back into the real context they typically provided less than a week before.

I'm again glad I watch The Daily Show. They're willing to replay original clips and engage in actual criticism.

Put simply, I've seen enough nasty preachers and too few good ones that I viscerally place preachers lower than the average human, unless I have prior information about their individual character.

With Great Power... Comes Heat Vision... Maybe?

Finally decided to do a little something on Scientology. I don't know much about it beyond what I saw on South Park, some of their crazy anti-psychology stuff, and a few random exposures to silliness. So I thought I'd start with "Operating Thetan" levels, since I recall hearing that people are supposed to get super powers.

From Operation Clambake's Scientology Dictionary:

OT I, (OT 1), comes after completing OT eligibility and OT preps (qv), this consists of walking about and counting people until one has a "win", and similar god-like procedures. EP (End Phenomena) is to extrovert a being, and bring about an awareness of himself in relation to others and the physical universe. Also called OT (Operating Thetan) orientation. OT I has had various incarnations over the years. BTW, there's this swamp land I've got for sale in FLA...

Well, not quite descriptive, yet. For some reason, this kind of reminds me of a Metalocalypse episode where they had a psychologist giving them banana stickers whenever they did something 'good'... until the band figured out "we can buy psychological validation", displaying a treasure chest of banana stickers.

OT II, (OT 2); consists of hundreds of boring "implants" written in Hubbard's hand like "to be or not to be", followed by "spotting the light" that accompanied the "implants." EP (End Phenomena; the final result of processing "therapy") is rehabilitation of intention and ability to project intention. With an EP like that, it can't fail! "A series of processes directed at whole track implant materials (GPMs) dealing with dichotomies and binary thinking. Available at Advanced Organizations and higher." - Jonathon Barbera.

(Implant, a hypnotic suggestion smashed into one's mind millions or billions of years ago in Hubbard's Space-Opera Scientology Cosmology. "One Implant was installed using giant movie screens.")

(Intention, a metaphysical Scientological concept of being able to project theta into physical objects and other people to exert mystical control over them. "Put your intention into that ashtray and make it do what you tell it.")

Terminology's still pretty thick. Smells like The Secret. Would be nice for Operation Clambake to provide a less cumbersome dictionary.

OT III, (OT 3); Operating Thetan (level) three, also called the wall of fire. Deals with Incident 2, Xenu, the evil galactic overlord, and the H bombs on Hawaii 76 million years ago. Hubbard said that anyone who was exposed to this level casually would "freewheel" through it, become a chronic insomniac, then get sick and die. "Locating and auditing of body thetans on Incident I (first incident in MEST universe) and Incident II (incident which caused the degradation of these beings into body thetans and clusters as caused by Xenu approximately seventy-five million years ago). Emphasis on this level is ridding the pre-OT of body thetans which are conscious enough to respond to the auditing. Available at Advanced Organizations and higher. Partially replaced by New OT V." - Jonathon Barbera. See Incident Two.

So, if I'm cutting through clearly enough, it's exorcism or something. Not quite JREFy just yet.

OT IV, (OT 4); the Operating Thetan drug rundown. New OT IV gets rid of the effects of taking drugs in past lifetimes for a few thousand dollars. You should really see this land in FLA; it is near Clearwater... "Mocking-up and unmocking implants from Clearing Course in order to prevent future implanting plus the handling and rehabilitation of past auditing. Product was supposed to be an OT Exterior. Replaced by New OT IV: handles the effects of drugs, medicine, and alcohol by addressing BTs stuck to/in drugs, medicine, and alcohol incidents. Audited by Class VIII auditors at Advanced Organizations and higher." - Jonathon Barbera."

So... running all the former King Arthurs and Cleopatras through rehab, replaced by exorcising all the demons hidden in some chemicals (drugs) but not others (food)? Trippy.

OT V, (OT 5); get rid of those damn Body Thetans! EP (End Phenomena) is cause over life. Should be cause over your debt; you'll need it. New OT 5 starts what is call New Era Dianetics for Operating Thetans, NED for OTs or NOTS, reputed to be for removing BTs (Body Thetans; evil spirit infestations) that didn't respond on OT3. Physical universe familiarization, for only a few 'thou, was a part of old OT V. "A series of drills directed at the Pre-OT's handling of, and relationship to, MEST. Drills were to be done exterior. Replaced by New OT V: A series of steps directed at clearing the Pre-OTs body of body thetans with some attention on body thetans which are causing particular conditions (including health conditions, rock slams caused by the evil intentions of body thetans, PTSness caused by suppressive body thetans, etc.) Audited by Class IX auditors at Advanced Organizations and higher. 55 HCOBs." - Jonathon Barbera. Note: this level has been published on the internet at many locations, however reading it won't help to understand it much, as it is insane garbage.

So, clearing out that 0.01% left over after 99.99% got disinfected at OT3? I like the note on this one: All the labyrinthian terminology seems intentionated for obscurificationistical end phenomena.

OT VI, (OT 6); what, more body thetans? New OT 6 teaches the sucker, I mean the Pre-OT, to do NOTs, New Era Dianetics for Operating Thetans, solo. OT VI is very expensive; it is easy to run up a $40,000 bill to get ready for the next step, OT VII. OT ability drills for a few 'thou more constituted old OT VI. "Drills dealing with exteriorization, emotions, and sensations. The drills were supposed to be done exterior. Replaced by New OT VI: A course which trains the Pre-OT on how to solo audit Solo NOTs. Available at FSO (Flag). 14 HCOBs." - Jonathon Barbera.

Self-exorcism?

OT VII, (OT 7); and still more? On OT VII one does NOTS, New Era Dianetics for Operating Thetans, solo. New OT VII is cheaper than New OT V, as only the six month C/S'ing and the final certainly check are paid for and the main work is left to the mark himself. Old OT VII was projection of intention and polish up for a few more 'thou...and you thought shouting was all you needed to project your intention. "A series of processes, drills, and training steps directed at intention. Replaced by New OT VII: the purpose of this level is the further ridding of body thetans. Done at FSO (Flag) and at home for two to three years. Product is an OT." - Jonathon Barbera.

Those nasty thetans. Stamp out one infestation and they come right back.

OT VIII, (OT 8); Rumours are that the EP of this level is to cognite that Hubbard is god. After US $360,000, Hubbard had better be god, goddamn it, otherwise you've just been royally duped! Will you gain god-like abilities yourself? Plonk down the US $360,000 or so to get to this stratospheric level, and find out...or you could rent a clue for ten cents and buy a nice house and a couple cars with the money you'd save. OT VIII is the top of the current Grade Chart - OT IX won't be released until all the present Orgs are the size of the old Saint Hill Organization in East Grinstead, England, in the '60s - not until hell freezes over, in other words. The Bridge, or Gradation Chart of Human Awareness and Abilities, tops out at OT 15, in some versions, although information is sketchy for the last few. OT 8 is a big expensive mystery, only delivered on the newspeak-named Scientology cruiseliner "Freewinds" out on the Caribbean. People who have completed this level have said that it is a review of all of the person's auditing and a verification/ nullification of discoveries the person has made about himself, that it is Route 1 and 2 from the _Creation of Human ability_ book, that it involves looking into your past auditing folders in order to spot any moments where you were being somebody else, e.g. past life identities, which you have discovered on Int Rundown or NED and any body thetans you have unleashed on OT III, OT IV, OT V, OT VI, OT VII and on Lists L10, L11 and L12, then a meter check to see if these identities are right or wrong items. At the end of this new process (New OT VIII), you will have recovered all of your own time track, supposedly. Two slightly different sets of the complete process have been posted to alt.religion.scientology, allegedly from people who have finished the level on the Freewinds. These procedures do indeed involved the 8th dynamic (god), as well as other steps, including material from _A History of Man_.

Okay, where's that stuff about burning bugs and killing with a thought?

Or am I thinking of Dune?

Guess I need better search-fu. Anyway, here's a little something I found on OC's forum. So I know that somewhere I read about super power acquiritude. Full list would be handy.

Comment on the Scientology Nonsense

I've been waiting to comment on the cult of Scientology, and after reading the uneducated, moronic comments the famous followers of Elron have been making lately, I felt the time was right. Thus begins the thesis: Scientology is bullshit. The most important factor to look into is the comments that have pissed me off, and why it's dangerous for celebrities to spout this nonsense. Then it's time to debunk them. Finally, a look into what Scientology is - a cult based on the yammering of a 3rd rate sci-fi novelist, Mr. L. Ron Hubbard.

I'll quote articles here and here that have some quotes from the celebridiots. The first is "You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do," by the great psychiatry history professor Tom Cruise, pictured here getting a zit popped by The One that Got Away.
















Now the poor guy's nuts and has to date herpes infested Bat-man hookers.

But I digress. Here is what Scientology has to say about psychiatry. This is such a bunch of woo-woo drivel. I don't even know where to start. How about here:

Convinced that man is only a body, psychology and psychiatry have forwarded the idea that there is no soul, merely a physical brain, an aggregation of tissue and nerve cells.

Wow. I looked all over for some evidence that the human body is anything more than "merely a physical brain, an aggregation of tissue and nerve cells" but couldn't find any. All I can find are some dopey saps who can not accept the fact that we are just animals. Listen people - you are not fucking special just because you are bipedal, have opposable thumbs, and can shit in a toilet. There's always something about "transcendentalism" or "energy" that these people expatiate. They never can provide any evidence.

The Disciples of Elron believe that vitamins and excercise can cure depression. So vitamins heal the soul...? I thought those Chicken Soup books did.

...the array of primitive methods dreamed up by “modern” psychiatrists includes hypnotic drugs, lobotomies, electric shock and bolts to the brain while a person is drugged and comatose — each of which leaves a person little more than a vegetable.

These people have watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest a few too many times. For Elron's sake, lobotomies are NO LONGER PERFORMED. We know that psychiatry is an evolving science, and there have been quacks along the way. It may even be the one medicinal science most suceptible to the placebo effect. But for Elron's crew to suggest that there is an accredited, moral psychiatrist that does not try cognitive therapy prior to drugs or shock therapy is just brainless.

For those who don't know, "advanced" Scientologists believe that an alien warrior named Xenu came to Earth 75 million years ago when he was about to be deposed as ruler of some galactic federation. He used psychiatrists to drug the inhabitants of Earth, and then killed nearly all of our planet's population. I swear I am not making this up. Xenu then made all of the souls he collected from the dead people watch movies, which implanted fake memories of the past, including all world religions. After this, there were just a few bodies left, so the souls crammed themselves into the few remaining living bodies. These people begat us. The moral of the story is: unless you are a Scientologist, you still have the Xenu movie influence of the thousands of people killed. This is the "history of psychiatry" Cruise believes in. Let me reiterate: THIS IS WHAT TOM CRUISE BELIEVES THE HISTORY OF PSYCHIATRY IS. What...a bunch...of shit...

Our next quote de quackery comes from Kelly Preston, best known for being John Travolta's piece of ass. Seen here with her husband wearing their Anti - Xenu helmets.

We've all heard Tom Cruise stating Brooke Shields is wrong for having used anti-depressants, as she discussed in her book. Barbarino's hole had this to say regarding Ms. Shields choice:

"If you're going to be advocating drugs, which she does in her book, you need to be responsible for also telling the people of the potential risks."

Yes jackass, and if you are going to support pseudo-scientific treatment in favor of proven treatment then BACK IT UP!! Show some evidence as to why we need to become level 75 warrior-mage Scientologists to cure our souls.

The problem is, they can't. They have to revert to Dianetics, the crappy sci-fi novel (both by Elron), or "just try it". Sounds like some other folks I know...

There is a reason the skeptical blogging community points out this silliness. These celebridiots are very persuasive, as it is part of their job. The easily swayed among us may be duped into using "alternative" therapies instead of seeking real treatment.

Q: Remember what one calls alternative medicine that works?

A: Medicine.