Sunday, April 08, 2007

Bizarro Holidays!

Here's something I'm considering: Using lots of alternative names for various religious holidays, like how I always say "Decemberween" instead of you-know-what. That particular practice of mine started when I got a big chunk of the Religious Wrong burning it down because they can't stand the idea of anyone saying "Happy Holidays."

But I digress. I suggest we put together a list of all the religious holidays we can think of, and come up with silly sacrilegious counterparts. Let's not limit ourselves to one religion. Frequency of use will rise when someone gets chauvinistic about a particular holiday.

Here's a bit to get it started:

Easter -> Ovipositional Bunny Day

Okay, so I'm not all that inspired at the moment. I'll get the juices going eventually.

20 comments:

Joshua said...

Why not celebrate real but lesser-known holidays that happen to occur on the same day as a big holiday?

For example, this year Easter fell on Buddha's Birthday! (By Japanese reckoning.)

Or, pick a celebrity born on that day and make up a holiday for them. In that spirit, this past Christmas I celebrated Bogey Day.

kevin said...

Christmas = Woodland Critter Christmas

kevin said...

Easter could = Zombie Day or Zombie Jesus day, since it is celebrating the first recorded real zombie. Everybody could celebrate by eating human brains(especially those of a baby!).

Anuminous said...

I have been wishing people a happy Festival of Oestra, wishing them fertility in their flocks and fields.

Rockstar Ryan said...

I spent April 8th, 2007 recuperating from heavy drinking the night before. I called this day "Sunday".

xiangtao said...

Rather than Good Friday, I like to wish people "Happy Dead Guy Day!"

Dikkii said...

Ted's family likes to wish everyone a Happy Chocolate.

Given that that's what the kids of today remember about this weekend, I suspect that this is closest to the mark than anything else.

Dunc said...

They're all just Spring / Autumn / Winter International Chocolate Marketing Day to me... Or Hallmark Card Day. And then of course there's International Beer Marketing Day (St Patrick's), International Flower / Diamond Marketing Day (Valentines), etc, etc...

Bing said...

My contribution would also be a makeover for Good Friday. You know, make it more honest so as not to trick the gullible into thinking it's a happy day and that a magical Roman soldier is going to come down the chimney and bring you little sugary Peep-fluff crucifixions to eat.

I would call it: "Worst Friday Ever and Saturday's Gonna Suck Too."

HJ

Randy Kirk said...

Or you could be respectful and considerate of the traditions and beliefs of others as you would undoubtedly like these others to be respectful and considerate of your beliefs and traditions. Some call it civilized behavior.

Bronze Dog said...

Note that I said to use them if someone gets chauvinistic about the holidays. The people who claimed there was a "war on Christmas" and boycotted stores for wishing people "happy holidays" ended up turning "Merry Christmas" from sincere well-wishing into an elitist epithet.

Of course, one obstacle I'd also like overcome is the undue respect that religion receives.

Rockstar Ryan said...

Or you could be respectful and considerate of the traditions and beliefs of others as you would undoubtedly like these others to be respectful and considerate of your beliefs and traditions. Some call it civilized behavior.

Cool, I dig. Can you help me celebrate Jesus Was An Axe-Wielding Homosexual Serial Killer and Fuck the Holy Spirit Day?

Randy Kirk said...

Thanks Ryan, now when the respectful atheists that are engaged in a reasoned debate on the issue over at godvsnogod.blogspot.com ask me to show them evidence of atheists who are...hmmm...angry or disrepectful of those with whom they disagree, I have an example that should prove my point.

Bronze Dog said...

So, what exactly would the point of that point be?

Tom Foss said...

Thanks Ryan, now when the respectful atheists that are engaged in a reasoned debate on the issue over at godvsnogod.blogspot.com ask me to show them evidence of atheists who are...hmmm...angry or disrepectful of those with whom they disagree, I have an example that should prove my point.

Ah, Randy, you walked blindly into a rhetorical trap. The point that Ryan intended to make, which you so beautifully made for him, is that you are professing a double-standard.

See, if Ryan's beliefs and traditions included the celebration of a holiday called "Jesus Was An Axe-Wielding Homosexual Serial Killer and Fuck the Holy Spirit Day," you wouldn't be respectful and considerate of that tradition, though you expect Ryan to be considerate of yours. Would you be respectful to a Jewish community who celebrated "Jesus wasn't actually the Messiah, and we're still waiting Day" on December 25th? Or "Jesus was a lie dreamed up by the evil lord Xenu to enslave the Thetan spirits Day" from the Scientologists? Those holidays would fall right in line with their beliefs and traditions, and it's not like Christianity has any problem with religions co-opting other religions' holidays.

The point to be illustrated here is that no belief is in and of itself deserving of respect. Further, no system of beliefs inherently deserves any respect. Respect is an earned quantity, and many would say that Christianity has not earned it.

This is, of course, not to say that people aren't deserving of respect. Some might extend that respect to people's beliefs, others might not. That all people deserve some modicum of respect, no matter how deplorable their beliefs and actions may be, is something I think few of us would deny.

Randy Kirk said...

The rhetorical trap was weak in that it included a putrid reference to another religion.

And, because the golden rule, the 2nd greatest commandment, and other such codes impress me, I will respect your religion and its traditions and go out of my way not to offend you regarding same.

Rockstar Ryan said...

Randy:

You have no right to not be offended. And I don't have to respect your silly belief in magic anymore than you have to respect my lack of said belief.

And...exactly what Tom said.

The rhetorical trap was weak in that it included a putrid reference to another religion.

And, because the golden rule, the 2nd greatest commandment, and other such codes impress me, I will respect your religion and its traditions and go out of my way not to offend you regarding same.


We speak English here. Please correct your syntax so I have a clue as to WTF you are talking about. I may be persuaded by your position.

Tom Foss said...

If the trap was so weak, why did you fall for it?

And holidays which reference other religions are nothing new. Heck, the name "Easter" comes from the pagan goddess who was originally celebrated 'round the equinox. When earlier Christians created their holidays, deliberately placing them on the days of pagan festivals, it was a part of their grand campaign to say "your gods don't exist, except some of them which are actually our saints! So come over and worship our God, the real one. Or else."

So, if Ryan were starting some new religion or secular organization, and decided to celebrate "Jewsicle Day" or whatever he called it on the Friday before the Sunday after the first full moon after the equinox, he'd really just be following an ancient tradition once practiced by the very Christians he seeks to lampoon.

Rockstar Ryan said...

Tom:

You forget that we live in the Fanciful Land of Evolution, where we don't cry oppression when someone doesn't hold our beliefs in the same reverance they do.

Pam said...

Guess I think that to the extent that Christians did as you say with regard to other's holidays, I don't think it was very Christian of them.

I don't call it oppression, Ryan, but merely bad taste. I don't think Imus is a racist, and I am no fan of political correctness, but I think he was out of line and foolish to say what he did.

And please don't get me wrong. I'm sure that I have said mean-spirited things about others in my life. But I'm not proud of it!