Inspired by an anonymous commenter in the first entry.
Police officer: Sylvia Browne, you're under arrest for fraud! Your mass email campaign from Nigeria appears to be a scam to cheat investors out of money! You have the right to remain silent...
Sylvia Browne: You can't prove that investors didn't make money!
Police officer: That's not the problem. The problem is that you can't prove there was a legitimate business model behind the whole thing. There's even some evidence to suggest you used a few tricks to inflate stock prices and fudge the books. You'll get off if you can prove otherwise.
Sylvia Browne: But I donated some of the money I took in to charity!
Police officer: Trying to ease you conscience? You still lied to get that money, and you still spent some to selfishly improve your quality of life. Donating to charity just means you're slightly less evil than the purely selfish con artists who keep all their ill-gotten gains.
Sylvia Browne: Stop being so negative! I gave people hopes and dreams, just like those guys who sell X-ray specs to kids so that for six-to-eight weeks, they'll have hopes and dreams of being able to see through walls... and other things.
Police officer: And you think that's a GOOD thing? Giving people false hopes so that they can live in denial? You're one sick puppy. I hope they lock you up for a looooong time.
The Big Sylvia Browne Thread