Forgive Me, FSM, For I Have Sinned

Today, I had intended to bring my camera along to get some better photos of the miracle. I forgot, and the FSM punished me with a tire blow-out. My +3 flaming anti-vaxxer bane tire iron got to see some action, but alas, I was unable to record any of it. The blow-out stranded me next to the residence of some fire ants, and because they obviously possess the fire subtype and supported preventative medication, neither the flaming nor the anti-vaxxer bane attributes of my tire iron were of any use. Yet another problem was that the donut in my car's trunk was under-inflated. But the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a merciful deity, so my dad was not far away with his air compressor.

Drooling Testimonial: Got a nice new set of tires at ExpertTire after the FSM aged my current set into oblivion. Rodger was very helpful, and even took me to Popeye's while my car was being worked on. I was short on change, and he donated a dollar to the cause of satisfying my hunger. Also had a nice bit of conversation where we demonstrated some of our obscure vocabulary knowledge. "Defenestrate" was my word of choice. He told me a couple of long-winded ways of saying "I don't know" and "No" that I wish I remembered. I contributed "Do you have the audacity to doubt my veracity and to insinuate that I would prevaricate when I am as pure and undefiled as the temples of Diana?" as a substitute for "You callin' me a liar?!"