Monday, October 15, 2007

8# !fooW

Okay. I REALLY need cooling off. Please do me the favor of keeping this thread moving. I had the older !fooW entries get up into 20's and beyond, and it was really fun. Since the thug made a personal appearance over at Respectful Insolence, I'm overheating.

So, for non-regulars, this series is about asking questions in order to get a silly answer from me. Since I really need some good laughs to retain my sanity, please make your questions silly. Who knows, you might actually get a serious answer from me, if it's sufficiently funny.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's Liz from I Speak of Dreams.

OK, when I was growing up (late 50s and early 60s) there was a Thursday afternoon television showing of cheesy monster/horror/scifi (MHS) movies. Loved 'em. Especially the atomic-contamination-from-beneath (sea/glaciers/volcano) genre.

What, in your view is

1. The worst MHS movie ever made?
2. The most overlooked MHS movie ever made?

Akusai said...

Why are sci-fi robots almost always bipedal androids? That's perhaps the worst possible setup for a robot.

Bronze Dog said...

Popular wisdom favors Plan 9 From Outer Space for #1. I should watch it, sometime.

Memorable line dripping with woo: "My friend, you have seen this incident based on sworn testimony. Can you prove that it didn't happen? Perhaps on your way home, you will pass someone in the dark, and you will never know it, for they will be from outer space. Many scientists believe that another world is watching us this moment. We once laughed at the horseless carriage, the aeroplane, the telephone, the electric light, vitamins, radio, and even television! And now some of us laugh at outer space. God help us... in the future."

For #2, if I've heard about it, it's not terribly overlooked.

Have fun with some people who watched some others so you won't have to.

I propose we make one of these featuring the FSM. There are few monsters who can compete with him.

Bronze Dog said...

Why are sci-fi robots almost always bipedal androids? That's perhaps the worst possible setup for a robot.

Because science hasn't advanced enough to recreate the canine form in its utter perfection. That's why all those cute but useless robot dogs these days have their rear legs bend the wrong way.

Bing said...

I seem to be missing a kidney, and I know that I had both of them when I left for work this morning. What happened to it?

Thanks a billion.

HJ


(You can always tell that the robot is a person because of the width of the hips. And good call on Plan 9--I taught that during a scifi class last semester--we spent a week on the 1950s B movie!)

Bronze Dog said...

Might want to check by the telephone. If that doesn't work out, give your lawn gnomes' secret stash a quick skim.

Rachel said...

Just what does D&D's HP system represent? Link to supporting evidence, if possible.

((Also, though I'm posting from my wife's gmail account because I'm too lazy to switch, I've finally caved in to pressure and started a blog of own at jackalmage.blogspot.com. It's largely RPG themed.))

Bronze Dog said...

Just what does D&D's HP system represent? Link to supporting evidence, if possible.

HP represents a combination of physical endurance and heroic luck. A commoner who's taken 10 hp worth of damage is on the verge of death, while a level 20 barbarian who's taken that much has just had a narrow graze and maybe a trivial cut. As the barbarian's hp goes down, he's had a number of close calls and is getting tired. It takes a while before he actually gets any significant injuries.

Reference: Right here in the DMG. It's a really small and on the inside.

*SLAM*

Rule Zero, biatch!

Infophile said...

Because science hasn't advanced enough to recreate the canine form in its utter perfection. That's why all those cute but useless robot dogs these days have their rear legs bend the wrong way.

Why do you always forget about K-9? Sure, he didn't have legs at all (though that's probably a plus from a design perspective), but he was anything but useless. Come on, his nose shoots laser beams!

Wait a second, you're just jealous he was the one who landed the TV role and not you, aren't you?

Bronze Dog said...

Why do you always forget about K-9? Sure, he didn't have legs at all (though that's probably a plus from a design perspective), but he was anything but useless. Come on, his nose shoots laser beams!

Well, he's from the year 5000 or so, when that sort of retro-thing was in style. He's not bad, and nose lasers are always nice.

Wait a second, you're just jealous he was the one who landed the TV role and not you, aren't you?

No, no, he deserves it, including the appearance in the new series.

Lucky bastard.

Stogoe said...

I highly recommend "Shriek of the Mutilated" if you're in the mood for a terrible MHS movie. Or "Night Train to Terror".

Or maybe just a bottle of Night Train if you're looking to hate yourself in the morning.

Bronze Dog said...

Just use a Phoenix Down on the Night Train. It's technically undead.

Anonymous said...

Monty said:
If you need some absolutely AWFUL MHS movies, just watch SciFi channel on Saturdays. I present you "Snakehead Terror", "Carnosaur" (all 3), "Raptor Island", and "A.I. Assault".

Tom Foss said...

My experience with M/H/S movies tends more toward the recent, low-budget, and truly awful. For that, it's hard to get better than "Blood Diner" and "Street Trash." "Blood Diner" includes the immortal line "armed with a meat cleaver in one hand and his genitals in the other;" "Street Trash" features a game of football, the greatness of which cannot be expressed in words.

It's hard to get worse than "Shatter Dead" and "Vampires vs. Zombies." Those of us who have seen "Shatter Dead" no longer fear death and will never shatter under torture, for we have endured far worse. Meanwhile, "Vampires vs. Zombies" contains no less than three lies in the title alone.

Ranson said...

But what about M/H/S hosts? They're usually more entertaining than the movies. My favorite was "Captain USA" back in the ancient days of the USA Network. Red tights, a mask, a cape, a cigar, and sarcasm. What more does a host need?

Also on that note, did anyone happen to catch "The Search for the next Elvira"?

Humanity scares me.

stogoe said...

Do I really need to bring up "Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter"?

...No, but I think I will anyway.

Christ Davis said...

Don't forget Revenge of The Living Dead Girls, featuring no dead girls or living acting. Tears of Kali, wherein the dark side of New Age is unleashed on the minds of a commune of Americans in India. St. John's Wort, with a set of twins separated early, paintings that are alleged to tell the tale, mummified bodies of kids and so much discontinuity in plot that I forgot the rest.