So, you've got a castle to call home. Why does your bedroom have spikes, the kitchen a bladed pendulum swinging from the ceiling, and the armory a trap door that opens every five seconds?
Alternatively, I'm like Richard Branson, and I love a good adventure to get my heart pumping and make me feel alive. I just don't want to travel halfway around the world to get it. A nice adventure in the morning on the way to the bathroom is precisely what I need to wake me up in the morning.
Look YOU try being a blood sucker coming back to life every few years just for all sorts of vampire slayers, such as your son, coming along to kill you again. You TAKE PRECAUTIONS. Besides, it's not like you actually use any of those rooms. You never catch Dracula in the middle of some reading 2 minutes into the game. No, the ENTIRE TIME you are exploring he's patiently waiting in his throne room drinking red wine... well something red anyway... just to get the chance to dramatically smash the glass and discuss what humans are miserable piles of this time around.
I mean when you are an immortal dark lord after a few centuries your main purpose is the battle against boredom.
I'm an Evil Overlord, and we actually get ranked based on negative-OSHA compliance. Since we have many people working in our castle, it counts as a workplace, so we have to make it as unsafe for them as possible if we want to move up the list.
You're determined that THIS is the one deathtrap that will stop those pesky plumbers once and for all. It never is, of course, and they invariably make it through. Despite your best efforts to fry them with your breath, they kick your scaly ass, destroy your castle, and send you crying for mommy.
So, you've got a castle to call home. Why does your bedroom have spikes, the kitchen a bladed pendulum swinging from the ceiling, and the armory a trap door that opens every five seconds?
5 comments:
Because you're DRACULA, beeotch!
I'm way, way into S&M, that's why.
Alternatively, I'm like Richard Branson, and I love a good adventure to get my heart pumping and make me feel alive. I just don't want to travel halfway around the world to get it. A nice adventure in the morning on the way to the bathroom is precisely what I need to wake me up in the morning.
Look YOU try being a blood sucker coming back to life every few years just for all sorts of vampire slayers, such as your son, coming along to kill you again. You TAKE PRECAUTIONS. Besides, it's not like you actually use any of those rooms. You never catch Dracula in the middle of some reading 2 minutes into the game. No, the ENTIRE TIME you are exploring he's patiently waiting in his throne room drinking red wine... well something red anyway... just to get the chance to dramatically smash the glass and discuss what humans are miserable piles of this time around.
I mean when you are an immortal dark lord after a few centuries your main purpose is the battle against boredom.
I'm an Evil Overlord, and we actually get ranked based on negative-OSHA compliance. Since we have many people working in our castle, it counts as a workplace, so we have to make it as unsafe for them as possible if we want to move up the list.
You're determined that THIS is the one deathtrap that will stop those pesky plumbers once and for all. It never is, of course, and they invariably make it through. Despite your best efforts to fry them with your breath, they kick your scaly ass, destroy your castle, and send you crying for mommy.
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