Friday, September 05, 2008

Pointless Question #31

Why can't that guy from Bionic Commando jump?

23 comments:

King of Ferrets said...

Because I've never played it, I'll just make random crap up: Because evil mutant space aliens removed his jumping ability via sci-fi magic so that they could TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Bronze Dog said...

What? Someone other than my brother has never played it? We need an 8-bit NES and a copy STAT.

Well, either that or a PS3 and a copy of BC: Rearmed.

Joshua said...

If you had a bionic arm that you could swing on stuff like Spider-Man with, would you ever bother jumping again? Seriously, to Hell with legs.

Dark Jaguar said...

Humans can't jump high man. And besides, have you seen that arm?

I love looking at a totally absurd universe and offering rational explanations that actually make LESS sense in that world.

Spook said...

Because the NES had two buttons.

And it was a nifty variation on the platforming genre.

Okay, as for an in-game explanation, I ask simply -- would you hop around everywhere if you had that badass arm? Didn't think so.

King of Ferrets said...

The reason I never played it probably has something to do with my NES breaking when I was 3.

Akusai said...

That arm is freakin' heavy.

King of Ferrets said...

Hmmm... any chance someone knows where one could download an NES emulator or whatever its called and a copy of Bionic Commando? I figure that if I've already got a bunch of SNES games on my computer, I might as well get NES games too. The PS3 option is out, because I'm not going to get one; my parents are annoyed at the cost of the newest consoles and all we got was the Wii.

Bronze Dog said...

It's been a while since I've updated my emulator stuff. Might want to search for LoopyNES or *snerk* NESticle for the emulators themselves. The sites with the ROMs change fairly often in my experience, so you're on your own for that.

King of Ferrets said...

Too lazy to do that without a place to download the actual games. =P

Akusai said...

Here.

And I recommend FCEUltra for NES emulation. Nesticle hasn't been updated in years and isn't 100% compatible with everything. FCEU is compatible with everything I've thrown at it and has a really smooth windowed GUI so you can do other stuff in the background.

King of Ferrets said...

Woot, thanks!

King of Ferrets said...

...hmm. Where exactly am I supposed to go on the world map? Should I try to blow up the trucks?

Bronze Dog said...

Just clear each area in order, pick up equipment in the neutral areas.

Though Area 4 is dark, so you'll need to go back after you pick up flares.

The trucks don't benefit you, except that you can pick up continues from the scene.

King of Ferrets said...

Ah, k.

Akusai said...

Wait until you get to area 16! (I think it's area 16.) Whichever one has no floor and you just have to swing from place to place...

Bronze Dog said...

You might be thinking of Area 6, which a few stretches of bottomless pit. 16 would be one of the friendly/neutral bases.

Laser Potato said...

Because the Naz...er, Badds have a super-gravity device.

King of Ferrets said...

Sounds like fun.... unless it has those helicopter guys. Beause that would suck.

King of Ferrets said...

Is it just me, or is the rapid fire gadget thing completely useless?

Bronze Dog said...

Checked Gamefaqs: Pretty much. The programmers messed up so it only works for the starter gun, and it doesn't do much beyond save your thumbs a little trouble that can be solved by a turbo button.

King of Ferrets said...

Ah.

Stogoe said...

Speaking of classic games, Super Mario RPG is out on the Virtual Console as of September 1st.