Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Doggerel #94: "U.F.O."

Welcome back to "Doggerel," where I ramble on about words and phrases that are misused, abused, or just plain meaningless.

I'm sure everyone knows what those three letters stand for: "Unidentified Flying Object." Too often, however, believers in alien encounters seem to forget what the first letter stands for:

For a UFO to be a UFO, it has to be unidentified. That means you don't know what it is. For alien enthusiasts, however, UFO is synonymous with "alien spacecraft." If you've labeled a dot in the sky as a Romulan warbird, that means you've identified it, hence it is no longer an Unidentified Flying Object.

Sorry to go on about the definition so much, there, but I felt it had to be said.

One of the other things I often get in my dealings with ufologists is "You can't identify it with all your precious science, therefore it's an alien!" No. If we can't identify it, we can't identify it.
"Sir, the most elementary and valuable statement in science... the beginning of wisdom... is: 'I do not know.' (indicates the void in the viewscreen) I do not know what that is." -Lt. Commander Data, Where Silence Has Lease
It should be noteworthy that often, when a ufologist says something hasn't been identified, it may have already been. Mysteries are often preserved by people who don't want to look for answers. The unknown is a blank canvas where anyone can put their egotistical fantasies. Seeking out knowledge of the unknown removes that possibility, so they're often disinclined to do so.

Also, even if the skeptic hasn't identified a UFO, that doesn't mean it's remarkable. Ufologists will often ramble on about how an object 'maneuvers beyond the capabilities of any Earth craft' before they identify how far away it is. What appears to be a distant object zipping across the sky may actually be a fly passing in front of the camera. You can seldom tell. UFO videos are often shot from just one angle, which make range finding difficult. Multiple cameras with recorded locations would make triangulation easier.

The sky is often filled with weird and interesting things. The same is true for life in general. Pretending that every tiny little not-yet-explained oddity is proof of something that could profoundly alter humanity's perception of the world is just absurd. If you want to prove that something is an alien spacecraft, you have to do a lot more than just bring up mundane oddities.

Genocide and Other Nastiness

Someone didn't learn from history: Eliyahu advocates carpet bombing Gaza. (Via Pro-Science)

As Kristjan Wager said, this is advocating genocide. I shouldn't be surprised, though: If you believe the war history in the Bible, the ancient Jews committed genocide all the time. Joshua, for one, couldn't get enough of it. I don't see it very often (I don't pay a lot of attention to the region... or politics in general), but that's one bit of Jewish Fundyism to mirror a lot of the Christian and Muslim varieties going on.

One thing I always find annoying when it comes up is the idea of collective sin, especially since double-standards always seem to come up in the form of No True Scotsman. I've met with Christian fundies who will say that the genocides of the Bible were okay because of the collective sin, and yet, they'll distance themselves from the latest televangelist caught in a scandal by claiming he's not a REAL Christian. We all know how that tends to go down.

One theme I tend to see in a lot of Fundyism is the abandonment of personal responsibility. It's always someone else's fault. "It was Adam and Eve's fault that I committed the crimes I tout in my conversion story. Because they put their hands in the cookie jar, I, and by extension, all of mankind, am inherently evil." "The devil made me do it." And so on.

---

I originally started on this post at about 5 PM on Tuesday, saved it as a draft, and since then, PZ posted this. Eliyahu's quite obviously 'militant', as are plenty of other fundies out there, regardless of which religion they're batting for. Of course, there are militant fundies who advocate things a notch or two below that like discrimination, government coercion of prayer, and so forth, yet don't get called 'militant.' What does it take for an atheist to be called militant? Express an opinion. Write a book. Speak out against militant Fundy actions. Dare to treat religion like they would any other scientific claim. (And by 'scientific claim', I mean testable by the scientific method.)

And that's when they trot out the canard that we're 'exactly like the fundamentalists we oppose.' I really hate double-standards.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

My Eye Strays From PC

Well, I was quite impressed with an iPhone commercial I saw. Since I'm classically a guy who drags his feet with cell phone technology, my only previous knowledge of the thing came from a cat. What I gather is that it's the typical (more advanced than mine) cell phone combined with an iPod, another piece of technology I have no experience with.
When I want to listen to mp3s, I use my PSP. To get mp3s, I download them from a free website that freely offers free downloads. If I don't feel like using the PSP browser, I use the stone age method of drag and drop to copy them over while my PSP's in USB mode. So, in short, I've never used iTunes to sync up my toaster with my laptop, or however that works out.

Anyway, I've done some preliminary surfing, and it'd be convenient if you could answer a few quick questions, rather than me spend too much work time trying to infer features from vague product descriptions. Did find out that they've got a 2-year exclusive contract with Cingular, and fortuitously, my family plan's on Cingular, so that's one big barrier that's not currently in my way to getting one of these gizmos if I decide on it.

1. Music sorting: Am I going to be limited to sorting by album, artist, and so forth? That's one thing that always annoys me about a lot of mp3-playing aspects of the various things I handle that weren't designed with mp3s as the priority, namely my Sony stuff. Can I just create my own folders? Found out about playlists. Jukeboxes I tried on my various computers just had a sort of RAM playlist. Either that, or they just had a really sloppy organizational method that wouldn't let me just double click to play a song by itself.

2. Should I be worried about overzealous anti-pirating stuff? I'd hate it if every time I logged on, iTunes would go into red alert if some of the free, legal music I've downloaded doesn't check out in every way.

3. Just how much of a preview am I typically allowed before committing to buying a 99 cent song?

4. When I use Mac products (a relatively rare experience), I often get the feeling that Steve Jobs is leading me by my hand. I get that with Windows, too, but at least when Bill Gates falls off a cliff, I know enough that I can pull him back up. Any of that I should be aware of with iTunes?

I may wind up thinking of other questions to ask. I'll see how far I can get with some of the faqs out there during my lunch break.

Monday, June 04, 2007

They've Discovered Our Secret!

It seems an anonymous whistleblower has provided Orac with a transcript of a meeting within Big Pharma to discuss the various methods of poisoning children, and while doing so, making *pinky to lips* ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

Okay, so I blew the suspense. No big pharma conspiracy, but a good illustration of the inherent silliness of the conspiracy theories mixed with showing just how bad some of the alties are at doing their homework.

Some favorite quotes below the fold:

"Be happy that I am in a benevolent mood; I would expect an employee of this great conglomerate to have been able to figure it out for himself." This time ESB's smile did not seem so mild. "Olmsted's misinformation and bad arguments suit my purposes well."

"Then he works for MegaPharmCo?"

"Not at all," continued ESB. "I would not employ such a fool in my organization. My standards are much higher than that. However, Olmsted's very foolishness is useful to us. Yes, he castigates vaccines. Yes, he claims that they cause autism. Yes, he claims that the mercury in them causes autism. On the surface, these would all appear to be potentially harmful to us. However, he does so with such specious and utterly intellectually bankrupt arguments that his very ridiculousness discredits that which he hopes to champion and the hysterical fear-mongering about vaccines that he is trying to raise.
and:
"You know what this means?" asked ESB. "I'll tell you. Clearly, Olmsted has found our Bacardi shell company. He has found our true operation and purpose, to make the world autistic through the use of tasty, refreshing, and strong alcoholic beverages with citrus and spearmint. He must have gone underground. You have failed. You could not keep even a credulous fool with bad reasoning skills from discovering this!"

Saturday, June 02, 2007

The Bride of Pointless Fun

Been a while since I've done one of these. Going to stick in some videos as well as games this time. In fact, I think I've got a little inspiration about what I might do with my brother's green screen. Post some brainstorming if you like. Links below the fold:

Gamma Bros.: They're brothers! In space! And one of them is black! And I have no idea why!

The sequel to Wireman: He's wearing red and blue this time! I wonder if it has something to do with one of them moving pictures out there.

Late addition: Another tower defense game. I like this one more, since I recently found it seems to have a distinct end, and the creeps actually have a goal beyond running around in circles.

If Shigeru Miyamoto was a woo:


Retro games in stop motion:


Our theaters are under attack! From invaders! Possibly from space!

Gone to the Dogs #1.2

Well, I wasted 20 minutes. Watched part of a Discovery Channel show called "Beyond invention" that dealt with 'the Hutchison effect'. Here's how I would have done it: Maybe 5 minutes background, followed by very carefully controlled test with excruciating detail on the test controls, and what alternate explanations they're designed to eliminate. Bam. Done. No conspiracy theories. No appeals to authority. No pretending that government interest means validity. No pretending that corporate interest means validity. No one claiming that maybe Hutchison is really using psychokinesis. Heck, why not just hand it over to the Mythbusters. They would have gotten it down pat, and we'd have some funny skeptical wisecracks along with way.

More foam below the fold.

What really annoys me is that they talk about a 'lack of interest by mainstream science'. Well, now that this crank's got some media coverage, why not apply for the Randi Challenge? Have Randi consult with one of those guys who levitate frogs and strawberries with magnets. If you're wondering how that works out, it should be noted that you non-metallic organic critters are very slightly diamagnetic: Repelled by magnetism. If something really freaky is going on, he should honestly test it under tightly controlled conditions, and I didn't see any controls in the footage they shot. All the nuts with the network's cameras did was drum up the conspiracy theories and let the psychic guy ramble.

Also had a thing on a 'zero point' battery that involves ground up crystals in a cylinder that can light up an LED and supposedly last forever. Got some gullible Japanese corporation interested, but they noted nothing's come of it yet. Gee, I wonder why. My guess: It's just a crude chemical and/or pietzoelectric battery, and it runs out. No signs of anything unexpected.

I can already hear some of the doggerel coming up. I suspect some will say that I'm afraid of anything weird. That's the problem though: This sort of crap is routine for me. Some videos shot under improper viewing protocols, a lack of desire to test when it matters, and rampant conspiracies to explain why we've only got sloppy movies. All to explain why the woo of the moment won't just take something simple like Randi's test, and that I should just take everything at face value.

Yeah, and the face value of the Earth tells me it's flat. Real science, done with incredible rigor, however, lets me know that it's really round, so I'm not one to take 'shocking' things at face value.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Keeping Out the Blogbarian Hordes

Via Shalini, I learn of The Great Firewall of China. No, I already knew about China's blocking of websites not amendable to State Doctrine or whatever. But with that link, you can check to see if your site's available in China. Mine's not, but I suspect they may have blocked all of Blogger. Remember hearing something about that a while back. Pharyngula still makes it through. Wonder how long that'd last if PZ said something nasty about something the Chinese government did. (Or has he already?)

Irrelevant Troll Roast


Just dumping all the off-topic comments that showed up as a result of Wetspot and our inability to resist humiliating him. Be merciless with him.

Testing out the fold thingy...



56 comments:

Wetspot said...

Dr Greg Clarke, a philosopher of science, recently gave a seminar on Richard Dawkins. Greg mentioned that he had heard Richard Dawkins was last cited on ISI in 1981, i.e., that Dawkins has not been a research active scientist for a long time. ISI (Science Citation Index) is the international yardstick used to assess the quality of a scientist’s work. There are two indicators:

1. The number of publications they have that are listed in ISI.
2. The number of times other scientists have cited these papers.

I decided to check this out for myself. In doing an ISI analysis of Richard Dawkins (actually Clinton Richard Dawkins), I was shocked. He has ONE reference in Science Citation Index. It is from 1966 (the year he got his doctorate), and NOBODY has cited it.

A typical Australian doctoral student in about 2nd or 3rd year would have about the same level of presence on ISI as Richard Dawkins.

Just to be sure I got the right man, I looked up all R* Dawkins and C* Dawkins to see if there was somebody in there with a signigficant number of citations called R Dawkins (with our without any 2nd initial) or C Dawkins (with our without any 2nd initial). There was not. I also looked up the publications of all R Dawkins and C Dawkins, and none of them were in his field. So it is true, Richard Dawkins has about the same impact in Science Citation Index as a 2nd or 3rd year postgraduate student.

To give some context, I looked up the ISI record of two Australian Professors, both aged around 60 years, neither of them a public figure, neither would be at all known in the public sphere outside their narrow field of endeavour, but within their field they are considered world class scientists.

Professor 1. 289 Publications Listed. 3,741 citations.
Professor 2. 600 Publications Listed. 3,696 citations.

I was frankly very suprised by the low research profile of Dawkins so I looked up his career history, it looks like he went straight from graduating with his DPhil into a junior lecturing role, and then 10 years later published his first popular science book.

One could surmise that he has not done any actual scientific research since 1966, that the 10 years between 1966 and 1976 were taken up with the very burdensome life of a junior teacher, followed by the gestation and writing of his first popular science book. Thereafter, all he has done is lecture and write popular science books.

So Richard Dawkins is clearly not a research scientist at all, he is an educator. He has ONLY ONE peer reviewed paper, and NOBODY has cited it. He has no more scientific authority than a suburban school teacher.

Bronze Dog said...

1. Richard Dawkins is completely irrelevant to the topic.

2. A valid argument is a valid argument is a valid argument. I haven't seen anyone point out any invalid arguments or significant made by Richard Dawkins. Do you know of any?

3. What is this "authority" you speak of? Whatever it is, it doesn't really exist in science. Richard Dawkins just relays some knowledge of the data and methods to relative laypeople. If you can point out any serious flaws in Dawkin's efforts, please do so.

4. You don't need to do the experiments personally to lay the smackdown on woos. You just need a knowledge of logical fallacies, and, when necessary, the ability to understand what the research says.

Wetspot said...

The valid argument is that Richard Dawkins is a failure as a scientist at the least. A complete idiot in most counts.

Bronze Dog said...

So, then, what's the point of bringing that up? I don't think of him as a scientist, just a science writer.

As for being an idiot, you'll have to present some really good evidence. Care to mention any nasty logical fallacies he's performed?

How exactly does this relate to "intuition," anyway?

Wetspot said...

Shutup dumbass. Go get a job. Nobody reads your posts anyway.

Bronze Dog said...

Someone call the waaaaahmbulance. Dial 9-whine-whine. Insert other cliche.

Let's see:

I pointed out the pointlessness of your post, after all, the arguer is irrelevant to his arguments, so if you were going on the enthymeme I thought you were going on, that would mean you went off-topic in your already off-topic post.

I asked for evidence of Dawkins being an idiot, which was met with a call for me to shut up, from which I infer that you don't have any.

Lately, I've been getting around 350 visits a day. Had one legendary day last year where I got 4,200 in a single day. So, I think it's safe to say that some people do read my blog, as if that meant anything.

Oh, and I have a (pretty well-paying) job. The data's been moving slowly around the office lately, which is why my post count has been rising: Less stuff for me to work on. We even had to reject one set and send it back.

Of course, even if I was unemployed, that wouldn't change the validity of anyone's argument. Reality is objective, after all.

So, with anonny/'your mom' backing out on such a simple request, I think we have a declaration of forfeiture on her part.

Oh, well, at least I've got a few more doggerel ideas out of the otherwise pointless exchange.

Akusai said...

Have you done "Get a job" before? I don't remember and, quite frankly, I'm too lazy to visit the index and search for it.

Ryan said...

Shutup dumbass. Go get a job. Nobody reads your posts anyway.

Stunning comeback, really.

Well, I read the posts. And I think annoying concern trolls who cut and paste large amounts of text and post them in blogger comment threads not relative to the weak point they are trying to make are the true dumbasses who need jobs; obviously you're no good at debate.

Here's some advice for next time you find some drivel and want to make a point with it - summarize and show how it's relevant. I find it truly hillarious that you conclude with

So Richard Dawkins is clearly not a research scientist at all, he is an educator.

on a cut and paste troll post. Well, at least you can Ctrl + C...

Fucking moron.

Bronze Dog said...

Don't worry. It's been added to the list.

Infophile said...

Personally, I'm tempted to call Poe's Law on this guy. It's just too perfect a combination of a C&P job followed by Doggerel (whether or not it has yet been covered).

Ryan said...

Still BD, it is kinda cute you have a pet troll again. The kind that smears it's dung all over Tir Asleen and runs away when Bavmorda's army shows up.

Can I be Madmartigan? Mmmmm, Joanne Whaley circa 1988...Ahhhh.

Bronze Dog said...

We'll need to see if she comes back, first.

Bob said...

Your mom is a fine example of why I dropped out of the iSchool. She's judging a person's academic worth by how many times they've been cited in the literature, as if that were the only criterion.

Bob said...

Actually, to be fair to the iSchool, that's not the reason I dropped out, not that I should have been there in the first place, or even brought it up for that matter. Now you're going to have a bunch of iSchool people dropping by wondering what the hell any of that has to do with this post.

That said, your mom would rather drudge up some irrelevant figures rather than confront an argument, not that any of this has anything to do with intuition.

Though I'm curious to know how many citations Dr. Greg Clarke has.

TheBrummell said...

I was mid-reply with my own search for Richard "Fuck off with your God" Dawkins, when Blogger did something obnoxious and destroyed it.

Suffice to say I am amused by the troll, and my own search for Dawkins in the ISI Web of Science turned up multiple recent publications, including peer-reviewed articles in journals such as "Biology and Philosophy" and the "Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society of London, Series B - Biological Sciences", as well as non-peer-reviewed publications in "Nature", "New Scientist", and "Natural History". I also found lots of things he'd written that I couldn't tell if they were peer-reviewed or not - he's got lots of articles in "Nature", for example, but most of them are probably commentaries, which are not peer-reviewed. Incidentally, most of these publications appear to have been cited at least once each.

It's also worth mentioning that ISI doesn't track everything in science - books and book chapters don't show up, for example, as well as a large number of journals that are too new, too obscure, or too specialized for the database. My own single publication, for example, does not show up in WoS, apparently because the journal ("Zebrafish") is still quite young.

None of this should be misconstrued as suggesting any validity to the troll's arguments-from-authority. I just now question the troll's competence with a search engine.

Ryan said...

I just now question the troll's competence with a search engine.

Or the incompetent moron from whom the troll Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V'd :)

TheBrummell said...

Though I'm curious to know how many citations Dr. Greg Clarke has.

On it. This is much more fun that what I'm supposed to be doing.

AU=(Clarke G)
444 hits (2/3 the number of the beast!)

OK, obviously this is a pretty common name, a quick dive into the results... nah, too many.

I narrowed it down to 34 hits by specifying an author address of "Australia".

Without knowing more about this philosopher of science person, it's hard to narrow these 34 down to a likely single author. Amoung the top 10 (most recent) hits, there's a recent article in the "Journal of Religious History" (one cited reference, zero times cited), an article about the urban geology of Darwin, Australia (there's an irony in there somewhere), several papers about rat hearts (unlikely to be our man, I think), and my personal favourite: "Rectal washout eliminates exfoliated malignant cells" in the journal "Diseases of the colon and rectum". Read into that what you will.

Bob said...

Thanks! I'm checking the Philosopher's Index right now, though I can't find anything. That could be my fault, but so far it's not looking good.

Bronze Dog said...

It's fun like this that makes me enjoy troll roasts.

Of course, I didn't really bother to concern myself with the obvious-in-retrospect copy/paste job, since silly red herrings are still silly red herrings. Doesn't matter how much typing and alleged effort goes into the original.

Tom Foss said...

Funny, I just did a quick search on ISI, and came up with 14 hits, limited to the last 5 years. I would be willing to bet that The Selfish Gene, widely considered one of the most important books in recent biology, has probably been cited fairly often. Just choosing two of the abstracts at random, one is an article from "Social Biology" which cites a Dawkins paper from 1989, another is from "Behavioral Ecology and Sociobiology" and cites a Dawkins and Guilford paper from '91. Now, it's possible that some of those are other Dawkinses, but at least a couple of the articles are responding to works written by the famous Richard Dawkins, and I found a couple more articles written by the same. Seems your search wasn't very broad. Then again, the ISI Biological Abstract search only goes back to 1997 (as far as I was able to tell), which rather eliminates the first 30 years of Dawkins's research experience, and cuts well into his tenure as a popularizer of science.

But that's neither here nor there. I bet if I searched for Stephen Jay Gould or Carl Sagan, I'd find that their journal output tapered off as their popular output increased. Are Gould and Sagan less viable as scientists because they focused their efforts on educating the masses rather than educating the scientific community? I daresay they aren't, and neither is Dawkins.

And golly gosh, you say "So Richard Dawkins is clearly not a research scientist at all, he is an educator" like it's a bad thing. Someone needs to educate the masses; again, I'm certainly not going to hold it against Sagan, Gould, Dawkins, and their ilk for publishing popular books rather than journal articles.

Bob said...

I'm beginning to doubt if a philosopher of science by the name of Greg Clarke even exists.

Kristjan Wager said...

Dr. Greg Clarke used to be the director of CASE (Centre for Apologetic Scholarship and Education) at New College, UNSW, but it looks like he has changed his position recently:

"I will be leaving New College to take up two new positions at the end of this week. The first is Director of the Macquarie Christian Studies Institute at Macquarie Uni. The second is co-director (with John Dickson) of a city-based centre for Christian cultural engagement."

Source

As to wether he is a philosopher of science, or has said the text attributed to him, I cannot say.

Wetspot said...

I saw PZ Myers the other day and he was getting screwed by a monkey. Dawkins was on the side taking notes.

The lengths one goes to to find the missing link.

Bronze Dog said...

Yeah, just go and pretend Lucy doesn't exist. Or that we need fossil evidence of every single individual organism before we can make predictions. Or that monkeys are somehow relevant to human evolution. Or that sex jokes make your point more valid.

But most of all, we must never, ever make specific criticisms, otherwise the eeeee-villutionists will rebut them like they have so many others.

Cranks like this guy are hilarious, but not in the way they intend.

Wetspot said...

Then Bronzedog stopped by and figured he can do a better job but forgot to remember that his penis has not evolved yet.

Now I understand why he acts like a faggot.

Bronze Dog said...

Ah, teh gay jokes!

Trolldom level 3!

Notice that anonny/your mom has failed to refer to any of the data or the arguments. Too pansy to deal with the actual issue, so she transparently flails against any irrelevant thing even tangentially associated with the issue, and even some things that aren't.

Hate to see what'd happen if he was a politician: "Anyone who disagrees with my bill to torture baby puppies for no reason is a COMMUNIST!"

Wetspot said...

Since noone likes to hire a faggot, Bronzedog resorts to creating a blog and fill it with stupidity. Since the noone reads his nonsense, he calls his monkey friends once in a while to post a few comments.

Loser.

Maybe if you stop being a faggot and stop spooning with PZ then someone will hire you.

Get a job loser.

Wetspot said...

Ha! Your so easy to make fun of.

Infophile said...

Ha! Your so easy to make fun of.

Anyone else having flashbacks of another troll who used to start every other sentence with "Ha!"?

Bronze Dog said...

Especially since all you have to do is make stuff up about me like children usually do when they've got nothing to go on.

Just keep changing the subject, bearing false witness, and maybe someone might actually be fooled into thinking you've made a point when you haven't.

I believe at this point of your desperate flails, including bad attempts at impersonation, you qualify as being PWN3D! or something.

So, got any actual data, or are you going to keep going about the childish route of making up whatever you wish about me instead of dealing with the fact that you've avoided all actual argument?

Wetspot said...

I have proven that Richard Dawkins is a failure, PZ Myer is a fanatic, and that you are a faggot.

Stanton said...

"Yes, Alex, I'd like Horrible, Naked Truth, for 1000, please!"
""A troll that's pestering Bronze Dog.""
"What is a childish moron who thinks he's pleasing his Lord Jesus by doing everything Jesus told him not to do?"
"That's correct!"

Ryan said...

Anonymous Troll/your mom:

I think you have proven yourself worthy of a Rockstar nickname. I dub thee

Wetspot.

I saw PZ Myers the other day and he was getting screwed by a monkey. Dawkins was on the side taking notes.

What were you doing there? Did you enjoy it? Where does someone go to get screwed by monkeys, and why do you know where it is?

HA! Wetspot knows where to go to get screwed by monkeys! UR teh GHEYWAD FAG!

Bronze Dog said...

Well, this guy's moved on over into a river in Africa.

He's ignoring all the other people who led some successful searches for Dawkins texts, and pretends that somehow all of Dawkins's good arguments magically poof away because of what he asserted. Must be convenient living in a newage (rhymes with sewage) world where truth is relative.

Of course, he hasn't proven anything about PZ, unless I missed a citation.

And as for teh gay! jokes, well, you can feel the desperation in the air as he tries to deflect his monumental failure by making up stuff about me, as if anything about my sexual preferences magically altered the laws of thermodynamics or something.

Again, it must be convenient to live in a newage world where reality is relative.

Here's a suggestion for you, anonny.

Ryan said...

Maybe if you stop being a faggot and stop spooning with PZ

HA! Wetspot, how do YOU know? Were you spying on them? Not enough ghey secks in ur life?

Fucking Wetspot...

Bronze Dog said...

Well, I think I've done enough to his red herrings. I think we can begin to sort out, via psychoanalysis, in a funny, derisive manner while we're at it, what made wetspot such a little emo.

Rev. BigDumbChimp said...

God damn it. You don't pay attention for a couple days and you miss out on what is maybe the hands down most immature troll I've seen in a while. I mean what has become of the blogosphere when you can even get a good quality scripture quoting circular logic troll? This is pathetic.

TheBrummell said...

The contrast between the first comment by "your mom" and the subsequent hurrrrr commentary makes me think the previously advanced hypothesis of a CTRL-C / CTRL-V event of an incompetent's ramblings by an incoherent secondary troll has some strong validity.

Granted, "your mom"'s rather melodramatic (nobody seriously believes "I was frankly very suprised", do they?) rambling, argument-from-authority initial post was by no means a tower of intellectual rigour, but it has a certain style superiority over the later "Shutup dumbass." series of mini-comments.

I like the name wetspot for this one.

robd said...

Indeed.
Better trolls please.
I like to see BD shredding them,
but this one has no meat on it.

Zeno said...

I absolutely love comments from trolls who say "Ha! No one reads your blog!" (So what are you doing here, troll? Huh? Huh?) Like Bronze Dog, I have a real job that pays the bills. (Well, I'm a teacher. That's real most of the time.) We blog for fun and to instruct the ignorant. And that, dear readers, is where the trolls come in!

(I surely do hope that all of that italic use didn't come across as too faggy!)

Wetspot said...

Ryan,

I am sorry to say but I was the one who instigated PZ Myer to get screwed by the monkey.

Honestly, I did not think he was going to enjoy it so much.

Since your dad could not satisfy me, I conducted an experiment myself. Now I am addicted.

You should try to stop playing with yourself and try it. We may be on the verge of a new scientific breakthrough.

Bronze Dog said...

Are there any original lines of argumentation you're going to try, wetspot? Do you lack them, or is the middle-schooler between pr0n surfs style just part of your act?

Personally, I'm beginning to wonder if he's, you know, 'compensating' for something, given how much he talks and talks about penis size and gay sex.

Tom Foss said...

Cut Wetspot some slack, Bronze Dog. He only calls you a faggot because he's angry that you fucked his dad. Honestly, I think he's just upset that you got there first.

Hey, Wetspot, for future reference "playground insults" do not constitute evidence for anything except your own immaturity.

Honestly, "faggot" as an insult? So 1993.

Zeno: what I love even more is trolls who come onto someone's blog and tell the blog owner to get a job/life/girlfriend. Hey, troll-boy, if you have so much life, why are you posting on the blog of someone who you claim has none?

Sigh...Wetspot's not as funny as Cocksnack. At least Cocksnack pretended to be intelligent.

Stogoe said...

I have to ask... Did Cocksnack get his nickname here, too, or is Wetspot the first?

Ryan said...

Dear Wetspot,

I was trying to show you what an absolute Wetspot you are by holding a mirror up to you. Apparently you don't even recognize your own reflection.

And you're really a boring troll - insult trolls are so easily roasted. Since you're probably only 12 or 13, maybe when you're older you can do some good bible quoting style lecturing. But just for fun...

Since your dad could not satisfy me, I conducted an experiment myself. Now I am addicted.

I called Dad over lunch, he said he's never met a 13 year-old practicing homosexual playing with a monkey while experimenting on himself. So now you're also a liar. You're not doing very well Wetspot.

Bronze Dog said...

Ryan dubbed him thus.

Wetspot said...

Did you ask him why he can't satisfy me?

Bronze Dog said...

It's been fun, but this is approaching tedious and pitiable. Only so much idiocy I can deal with before it turns really sad.

Wetspot said...
This post has been removed by a blog administrator. ("DUMBASS" about an illion times.)
Wetspot said...
This post has been removed by a blog administrator. ("DUMBASS" about an illion times, faking Infophile's name while he was at it. Further such posts deleted quickly.)
Rev. BigDumbChimp said...

yawn

This is obviously some kid who couldn't argue its way out of soiled sheet.

It would be interesting if it actually had something to go after. Instead it's just the same playground BS.

I say ban that IP.

Bronze Dog said...

Yeah, copy/paste a contentless insult an illion times, and name stealing again. Yeah, this guy is a master of debaters.

Ryan said...

Oh dude, delete that one.

Bob said...

Kill teh stupid! Kill it!

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Funny Searches: May 2007

sylvia browne colonized by aliens: I suppose that would explain her girth.

frequency to shut dog up: If you blow a whistle and those inferior human ears don't pick anything up, DON'T blow harder in your efforts to hear something.

evidence of why they thought the earth was flat: "It certainly looks flat, so let's not bother with any rigor in verifying that conclusion." - Anonymous Woo-Woo

20. some people claim that the human body is perfectly designed; what are 5 features that tend to contradict this claim?: Okay, right off the top of my head: 1. Eye's built backwards, so humans, and I believe most vertebrates, have blood vessels in the way of our rods and cones, as well as a blindspot where all the vessels meet. Squids and such don't have that problem 2. Humans are bipeds with spines more or less optimized for quadrupeds. 3. Brain located in an area that requires vulnerable logistics, like the jugular vein. 4. Energy wasted growing and maintaining nipples on males. 5. Critical thinking is not included in the starter package. 6. Bonus: Midochlorians not included in real life.

sylvia browne is demonic: She's evil, but I wouldn't go that far.

rod tod bible trivia: "Which version shall it be?" - Ned Flanders

"sylvia browne" naked: Aaaaahhhhh! Get out of mah brane!

sylvia browne alien in politics: Well, if the aliens are about as intelligent as crossbreeds between Sylvia Browne and Jar-Jar Binks, that would explain quite a lot. If you'll pardon me, I've got yet another nasty image to get out of my head.

I saw my brother during an astral catalepsy (caps removed): It's called sleep paralysis. Was Jar-Jar Binks involved, by the way?

calcium deposit bronze propeller: Now, that's an interesting entry, and I'm not creative enough to make it sexy.

telekinesis truth: It's bunk, but it's still really, really cool.

The Divine Command Theory is not a problem for Christians since man is in a fallen state and cant know good: Except for the problem that 'good' is arbitrary and meaningless under such a system... Plus there's the whole silence from the deity thing.

april 27 mistake funny: I haven't heard that one, yet.

bronze turtle: Right alloy, wrong animal.

adam and eve in layman's terms: A Magic Man done it.

jesus fish lucky charms: Well, it'd fit in with all the other arcane foci included in there.

roadblocks to effective problem in lord of the dogtown: That'd be me, alright. I'm just full of solutions, or at least know people with solutions that it's hard for Lord Li'l Brudder to come up with effective problems.

1 billion, gagillion, fafillion, shabolubalu million illion yillion...yen: Colloquially known as "a lot".

bronze and brains: Got 'em both.

chlorinated water with bronze: I wish I had a swimming pool.

autism and wii: And the crazy 'blame very good things' hypothesis changes to keep up with the times.

Bronze Law: My word is.

Sorry For the Inconvenience

Comment moderation is back up, but it's not the usual suspect. This time it's a chameleon troll Ryan has dubbed 'Wetspot'. He's not all that different from said usual suspect, though, and may have added a twist: In a series of posts where he endlessly repeats a rather generic and unoriginal insult, Firefox has notified me that there was some unending script. In case he's inserted some kind of copy/paste script hack or whatever, I'm making sure those repetitive posts don't get displayed, for the sake of your browser. Plus it's just an annoying waste of time intended to stifle discussion, not that he was into any in the first place.

So, expect delays. Sorry.

Doggerel #93: "You're Not a Scientist!"

Welcome back to "Doggerel," where I ramble on about words and phrases that are misused, abused, or just plain meaningless.

One of the things that's always annoying about this doggerel is that it demonstrates complete ignorance about what science is. Science is a method that anyone can employ. Scientists are just people who get more hands-on experimentation and swankier equipment. Science is not an ivory tower. Science is not a rigid hierarchy of priests and prophets. The validity of an argument is not dependent on the person who makes it. The validity of an experiment is not dependent on the person who performs it.

In logic, a valid argument is a valid argument. In science, an experiment performed under proper protocols is an experiment performed under proper protocols. It doesn't matter who makes the argument or performs the experiment. If I can cite an experiment your pet woo failed at, you'd better start criticizing the experiment and its protocols, not me, and not the scientist who performed it. After all, we're all irrelevant to the matter: An argument stands or fails on its own, so don't bother changing the subject by going off on irrelevant red herrings.

Aside from projection, I think the primary reason this doggerel comes up is because woos don't realize that big, funded woo with killer PR campaigns can be taken down by a single person pointing out a false premise in the foundation, sloppy experimental protocols, or inherent logical fallacies taking place between legitimate data and the woo conclusions. It only takes one child to point out that the emperor is naked.

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Doggerel Index