Monday, June 04, 2007

They've Discovered Our Secret!

It seems an anonymous whistleblower has provided Orac with a transcript of a meeting within Big Pharma to discuss the various methods of poisoning children, and while doing so, making *pinky to lips* ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

Okay, so I blew the suspense. No big pharma conspiracy, but a good illustration of the inherent silliness of the conspiracy theories mixed with showing just how bad some of the alties are at doing their homework.

Some favorite quotes below the fold:

"Be happy that I am in a benevolent mood; I would expect an employee of this great conglomerate to have been able to figure it out for himself." This time ESB's smile did not seem so mild. "Olmsted's misinformation and bad arguments suit my purposes well."

"Then he works for MegaPharmCo?"

"Not at all," continued ESB. "I would not employ such a fool in my organization. My standards are much higher than that. However, Olmsted's very foolishness is useful to us. Yes, he castigates vaccines. Yes, he claims that they cause autism. Yes, he claims that the mercury in them causes autism. On the surface, these would all appear to be potentially harmful to us. However, he does so with such specious and utterly intellectually bankrupt arguments that his very ridiculousness discredits that which he hopes to champion and the hysterical fear-mongering about vaccines that he is trying to raise.
"You know what this means?" asked ESB. "I'll tell you. Clearly, Olmsted has found our Bacardi shell company. He has found our true operation and purpose, to make the world autistic through the use of tasty, refreshing, and strong alcoholic beverages with citrus and spearmint. He must have gone underground. You have failed. You could not keep even a credulous fool with bad reasoning skills from discovering this!"

1 comment:

Joshua said...

And all this time, I thought I didn't like Bacardi because it tastes awful. Now I know the truth: it's a Communist plot! Big Pharma is attempting to compromise our purity of essence!