Thursday, August 16, 2007

Pointless Question #7

You've traveled thousands of light years to a distant, watery planet third in orbit around an unremarkable yellow star. You've got a faster-than-light spaceship powered by a few dozen suns in its belly. You've got weapons that can stun, kill, or vaporize the vermin occupying the planet. You've got a teleportation system that can take you apart and put you back together thousands of miles away.

Why are you nekkid?

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

'cuz clothes get in the way of all the cattle mutilation you need to be doin'

JackalMage said...

Clothes are a tool of the bourgeoisie elite, meant to keep the virtuous worker oppressed! All advanced spacefaring civilizations know this!

Rev. BigDumbChimp said...

Who needs clothes when you've got such a big ray gun.

Tom Foss said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tom Foss said...

Because clothes would provide concealment for the Puppet Masters from Titan.

maybecca said...

Irregular Webcomic has covered this one.

"Relax, kid. Wookiees don't have any nudity taboos. Chewbacca told me, none of them wear clothes."
"I hate to tell you this, Captain Solo, but Wookiees actually have very strong nudity taboos... and there are certain aberrant individuals who like to expose their private parts to unsuspecting aliens..."

The Hot Alien said...

Well, because I can be! I mean look at me! (*flexes in mirror*)

maybecca said...

See what I mean?

Bourgeois_Rage said...

Dude, don't diss it until you've tried it.

Berlzebub said...

Because I'm about to go to the power source and spend .003 seconds getting an awesome tan.

What's your excuse?

Wikinite said...

Because your engineer forgot to calibrate the quantum signature of your clothing, and they got ripped off when jumping into hyper-warp.

Mechalith said...

Lack of a nudity taboo and field generating implants to protect against exposure are a wonderful thing. Don't tell me you can't see the allure of not needing clothing.

Paul said...

You've just revealed your own, completely unconcious, Judeo-Christian bias. Why wouldn't they be nekkid? Just because you've been conditioned to feel uncomfortable without your fig leaf doesn't mean that everyone else has.

Joshua said...

Informed via reliable channels that earth girls are easy.

JanieBelle said...

Cuz I'm a Transgendered Purple Octopus Alien, and I wants me some Bronze Dog.

Maybe a side dish of Big Dumb Chimp, too.

TheBrummell said...

Clothing has been developed by a not-insignificant number of spacefaring and near-spacefaring species on a range of different worlds. All of those worlds were relatively young, and still displayed a broad range of climates across their still-active planetary crusts, thus suggesting that rapid adaptation to a broad range of harsh climates can be achieved by the development of certain textile technologies. Universal access to these beneficial technologies is promoted by instilling certain behaviour patterns, i.e. taboos, among the population. This meme-plex spreads rapidly, and displaces other memes associated with not wearing clothing, especially in cold environments.

However, a majority of spacefaring species, including my own, gained sentience on our homeworlds when those worlds were relatively much older (controlling for other planetological factors) than the typical homeworld of a clothed species. Thus, on my own world, the reduction of global landmasses to randomly-scattered island archipelagos combined with the global emergence of the shallow abyss ecosystem as the largest and most uniform on the planet, resulted in the appearance of a sentient species (my own) lacking the need to adapt to a wide range of climates. As the saying goes among my creche-mates, any square ritzul of zantsa is much like any other, unless it's already occupied by a zebranky, of course.

Unless you meant "nekkid" in the technical sense, a noun quite different from the colloquial version of "naked". My sensibilities are too weak for such a discussion at this time, however.

Laser Potato said...

Because I've taken off my spacesuit after our scouts confirmed that Earth's atmosphere is safe for our species. Being covered in thick shaggy fur is hot enough as it is!