Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Wafergate: My Distilled Opinion

The moderate Catholics should be pushing for the investigation and excommunication of those who are making death threats over the crackers. They should be doing that before complaining about any perceived rudeness on our part, since death threats are infinitely more serious than political correctness.

Once that's settled, if they don't want us to consider them silly, they should be working on finding evidence that transubstantiation is real, and maybe come up with an explanation for the act that doesn't come across as creepy cannibalism.

As for my side, you can count on me to ban any atheists who make equivalent death threats. That's what this is about, after all: Death threats are wrong. I just find the crackers are a convenient method for flushing out the barbarians who would so easily resort to violence.

It's that simple.

4 comments:

King Aardvark said...

The moderate Catholics aren't the ones in the position to excommunicate anybody, I'm afraid. Also, even for moderate Catholics, I'd bet that the worst Catholic ranks ahead of the best atheist.

And they can't look for evidence because then its doubting God. I'll bet they get all sorts of time in purgatory for doing that.

Re: cannibalism, all I can say is that Jesus doesn't taste very good.

Bronze Dog said...

Yeah, I realize they're in no position, given the sort of person who's now leading the whole thing. But they should be putting as much pressure as they can on them. Maybe get loud enough to get on TV in support of civilization over barbarism. If the higher-ups are silent on the matter, the moderates should also be upending everything like we are.

William said...

Moderates aren't really good at upending things.

Dark Jaguar said...

I've found the whole thing ridiculous. I could understand to a small extent if this guy actually stole the cracker, but they literally stuck it in his mouth. I mean it seems to me that putting food directly on someone's tongue is about the most obvious "giving it to someone" there is. Sure maybe they intended him to eat it, but it's a little late for that and I don't think anyone has to sign some sort of contract at these mass events.

That said, even if the argument was he stole the cracker, and to that end I suppose I'd support the police getting involved at least enough to force him to return it, at most it would only be deserving of a warning. It would be up to the church to show that this particular cracker had some grand value or they had some extreme attachment to the thing. I really doubt they could even demonstrate any attachment to that cracker in particular and they tend to feed them to people in the thousands every week so really, I don't see any reason for these death threats.

Well, actually I can't think of any situation where it would be reasonable to send someone a death threat. I often wonder if the people who send those threats actually intend to carry them out at the time, or if they are just full of it. I figure it's the latter because the idea of anyone actually spending the time to imagine someone dying and get some sort of enjoyment out of it seems pretty disturbing to me.