Monday, May 25, 2009

Pointless Question #60

Dear Heroes Unlimited,

I'm a member of a young squad of superheroes, and I've been having trouble with a certain critter the team adopted. Yeah, it's cute, but the little rabbit-bear-rat thing is always getting us into trouble. It's useless in a fight (though in fairness, I will say it was a big help in escaping Dr. Moist's underwater lair), but it insists on standing its ground when it's clearly outmatched. It pushes buttons all the time, cracks lame jokes, forgets life lessons we taught it a week ago, and just overall makes a nuisance of itself. The worst part is that no one else seems to notice.

I've been trying to get rid of it without hurting anyone's feelings ...or resorting to worse means. I tried reasoning with the team, but they won't hear any of it. Once lucked out and found a community of more rabbit-bear-rat things, and even had an awkward but successful bit of matchmaker to get it a possible love interest and motivation to stay. Everyone said a tearful farewell... Thirty seconds later, it's back, cue the group hug and me banging my head against the nearest tree.

What should I do?


William said...

God, it's a TVTropes minefield. You bastard!

King of Ferrets said...

"Accidentally" strand it right where the villain's superweapon is pointing for its test run. For example, if you're Sonic in SA2 stranding a particularly annoying Chao, plop it on the moon. Should solve all your problems, unless it's got a bad case of Contractual Immortality. In that case, break the fourth wall, jump out, then steal the contract and stake it, cut its head off, and then burn the rest of the body and scatter the ashes over running water.

Stogoe said...

Help, I've fallen in and I no longer wish to climb out of TVTropes!