Monday, September 24, 2007

Miscellaneous Fundie-Related Stuff

Someone sent me a bit of a newspaper that published a random raving fundie today. I was both groaning and laughing on the initial skim. When the world's full of crazies like this guy, you just have to poke fun to avoid spending all your time in Shinji Ikarian wangst.


I find some of these quotes truly silly, like this one:
There are even people advocating that God's name be changed to Allah to appease Islam.
Like who? I know there are a lot of people who'll bend over backwards to appease the terroristic part of the Islamic population, but somehow, I don't think there are many people willing to go that far. If you find someone who advocates that, please either laugh derisively or give him a serious 'or the terrorists win' speech. Or both, if you think they won't detract from one another.
Do you not think that God sees everything you do and hears everything you say? Do you think you can turn away and pretend that he does not know? Don't you think that God might get mad at the suggestion of changing his name to appease a faith that denies He and His Son's existence?
Apologies for any suddenly coffee-covered monitors and keyboards out there.
1. No, I don't think a magic man sees and hears everything I do.
2. Therefore, I do think I can turn away and be confident that he doesn't know. (Shouldn't this guy be capitalizing his pronouns, by the way?)
3. God seems to get mad about anything and everything. Only thing separating him from being a whiny little emo is the fact that he's allegedly a omnipotent bully, if those centuries-old books are any indication.
4. Islam doesn't deny the existence of God or Jesus. They just slap a different label on the same bloodthirsty deity, and claim that Jesus was merely a prophet, rather than a supernatural haploid. They swapped out a D&D template for some more cleric levels.
Have you no fear of God's anger and wrath, when you put nonbelievers before him? You are putting God second to people who do not believe in Him and His Son for your own personal gain.
Omnipotent bully. Told you. Sounds like he values some label more than people whose lives could possibly be lost. Personally, I have no fear of God's wrath, since I haven't run into any of this stuff, suggesting he's either a monumental procrastinator or nonexistent. Frankly, I'd rather fight both fundie evils so that neither one can kill over frivolous issues over how Aerith's name is spelled. Anyway, I don't see what the problem is: Christianity was very keen on absorbing stuff from non-Christian sources in the past.
Where are the "belters" when you need them? No sale of beer and wine to stop, no illegals to ship out, no gays to bash, no politics to win, no material gain here, why bother? In this world there is only one God, His son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit to guide us. Can you not stand up for the one who gave us this wonderful country to live in — a gift from God — not an achievement of man. Can you not stand up for the one that gave his life for us?
Riiiiight. It's lot like Texas is engaging in a massive campaign to insert unethical, immoral, and unconstitutional endorsements of religion that I had to protest. (Followed the next day by Muslims denouncing terrorism, though I didn't pay a lot of attention to that. Glad to know they do indeed exist and speak up.)

And, of course, this person has to deny the efforts our founding fathers had to go through so that we could have a secular nation. Because the Constitution fell out of the sky and the redcoats were driven out by musket-wielding angels, not people who fought and died for our sake.
Christ taught us that if we are ashamed of him before the people, he will be ashamed of us before the father. The "belters" nation-wide have let the nonbelievers take prayer out of schools, try to take in "God we trust" off money and other government documents, so why aren't you storming the Capitol enraged at this blasphemy? Are you embarrassed to proclaim your faith in the Holy Trinity, are you ashamed of them?
He also taught us about where to pray, and hint: It's not in school. Of course, thought, this lying liar has to lie about what the measures against school prayer really did: They took away the "right" of government employees to coerce prayer. Kids can pray on their own time, so long as they don't disrupt class.

As for the rest of the stuff: Why do you think our efforts meet with so much resistance? It's because unpatriots like him have control over pretty much all the government offices.


Aaron Golas said...

Actually, that first part about calling God "Allah" is true: it's referring to Catholic Bishop Tiny Muskens in the Netherlands. Article here.

Bronze Dog said...

Well, then. Commence derisive laughter and/or speeches.

Infophile said...

Alright, let me give it a shot, combining mockery and "the terrorists win":

Changing the spelling of Aeris's name to Aerith is precisely what the translators want! The original Japanese name is properly Romanized as Earisu, and when you take into account how this is pronounced, Aeris is the most accurate English spelling. If you continue to spell it Aerith, the translators win!

Bob said...

His name should be changed to Bob, not Allah.

Rhoadan said...

Okay, that's weird. That link has nothing to do with the Church of the Subgenius.

Anonymous said...

Actually: the christian god is called Allah in Maltese...