Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Cue "Imperial March" Again

Got an update in my email from The Brick Testament. Seems they've been doing some translating. They mentioned The Naked Archaeologist episode dealing with Joshua, "one of the greatest generals of the Bible." Doesn't quite seem appropriate to label someone like that "great," at least not without mentioning all the blood on his hands (assuming, for the sake of argument only, that the Bible is accurate).

Jericho: Every living thing slaughtered, including women, children, the elderly, and livestock. They make sure to specifically mention those groups.
Ai: All 12,000 slaughtered: targeted the civilians first, then attacked the soldiers as they despaired.
Gibeon: Tricked the Israelites into signing a peace treaty, since they were afraid of being similarly slaughtered. Not happy with the arrangement, Joshua enslaves them all.
Amorites: Allied to take down the threat. God casts mass confusion, summons a hailstorm, and stops the sun that surely revolves around the Earth to make sure Joshua's army wins.
Makkedah, Libnah, Lachish, Eglon, Hebron, Debir: Killed everyone. King Horam's army was included as a target of opportunity.
Hazor: Attacked in an effort to stop Joshua. After they destroyed the army, they burned the capitol to the ground and plundered all the other cities while killing everyone there.
Anakim: Slaughtered.

So, he may be a great general, but I most certainly wouldn't call him a great person.


xiangtao said...

And yet, a few books earlier, God explicity states in as clear of language as possible "Thou shalt not kill".

That Biblical moral code sure is plain and clear.

Anonymous said...

"Butcher" or "War Criminal" might be a better description than "Great General".

But hey, maybe that's just me.

Joshua said...

Why y'all gotta hate on me? I was just following orders!

Anonymous said...

That excuse didn't cut it at My Lai either, buster.