Friday, March 02, 2007

You Might Be an Altie If...

2007 edition. Glad to see some of mine made it in there (at least I think they were all mine: It's been about a year, probably more of mine I'm not as sure about):
If you think hydrogen, hydrogen ions, hydroxide ions, oxygen, ozone, water, and hydrogen peroxide are all the same and can be labelled the same because they all contain H's or O's, you might be an altie.

If you think the bald assertion of the possible existence of completely unspecified logical fallacies is devastating to your opponent, you might be an altie.

If you think that ridicule designed to highlight your logical fallacies is inherently immoral and fallacious, you might be an altie.
Some not-me favorites:
If you think it's perfectly acceptable, nay, laudable, for shady Internet entrepreneurs to launch a website that claims to be about "education" but in reality exists to sell a cancer treatment that has only shrunk tumors in animals and has yet to be tested against cancer in humans (and lie by claiming that it's being sold to treat pets), you're not only an altie, but you're an idiot.

If you excuse your healer and other alternative medicine practitioners from conducting evidence-based clinical trials of their treatments on the grounds that there is no money to support well-designed clinical trials testing alternative medicine even though the yearly budget for the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine is over $120 million, you just might be an altie.

If your arguments tend to degenerate to comments about "baby poisoners" while never once considering the concept of "infant mortality rate", the massive reduction in infant mortality in industrialized societies in the last 150 years, or what that means in the grand scheme of human happiness, you're almost certainly an altie.


Ranson said...

My favorite by far:

"If you talk about the pH of the 'body,' you're either an altie or have access to a very large blender."

Bob said...

I've got one:

If you believe that the lack of evidence in support of your conspiracy theory about Big Pharma and its clever shills amounts to proof that the conspiracy was in fact a success, then you just might be an altie.

Of course, this works for other conspiracy theorists. Just fill in the blanks.

TheBrummell said...

If your arguments tend to degenerate to comments about "baby poisoners"...

I'm pretty sure that one was my suggestion last year. Not 100% sure since it's been a while and I don't feel like digging through Orac's year-old comment threads. I particularly like yours, as well.